You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
