Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
