Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
BRING THE BAGELS
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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