no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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