just tell him i said nine months
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
