I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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