it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
