went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
