can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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