You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's get the cat blown out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
