nut hugger
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
