i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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