After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
