No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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