Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
