I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
