i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
