This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
