What tipped you off? The sombrero?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
