Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize