So drunk its hurt
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
