Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize