first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
