I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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