let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
