Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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