Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
