trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
