She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
