how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
