My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
