apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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