We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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