So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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