I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
