3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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