i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it was like eating out sand paper
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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