i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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