are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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