Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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