i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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