were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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