his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
