You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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