I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
