my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
