Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
