i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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