You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
