we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Farmville is her only friend.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
