Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
His nipple licking is glorious
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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