Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
