Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
