What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
