I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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