If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
