You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
