you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
