he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
